Pissed-off zombie actresses, Elvis impersonators, William Faulkner, and Mensa

OK, this is seriously weird.

An actress who has appeared in a television series about zombies has allegedly tried to frame her ex-squeeze, making it look as if he sent poison and threatening letters to President Obama.

The imaginary trafficking of body parts, Elvis impersonators, references to characters from a William Faulkner story (these days, members of the Snopes family all have Facebook pages), Mensa, and, of course, zombies are involved.

As you can see, they’ve rounded up the usual suspects.

“The Elvis impersonator, Mr. Curtis, has waged a long-running campaign to expose an apparently imaginary body part trafficking scheme at a local hospital. His rival, Mr. Dutschke, is a member of Mensa, the high IQ society, a blues band frontman, and failed political aspirant.

“What looked at first like classic terrorism — poisoned letters sent to the president and other public officials — now seems more likely to be the product of a local feud between two not-so-good-old boys straight out of a Faulkner story, albeit with Facebook pages, “ USA Today reported about the two men in April.”

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/2013/0608/Walking-Dead-actress-arrested-How-ricin-letters-became-tool-of-revenge

Somewhere, someone is working on a mini series.

A Good Start, but doesn’t go nearly far enough!

Check this out:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57579116/ex-congressmen-to-conduct-extraterrestrial-hearings/

If I had way too much money, one of the things I would do is to fund hearings on the government coverup of the hard evidence for the existence of elves and fairies.

After all, you can’t prove that elves and fairies (feel free to substitute whatever you like here) don’t exist, therefore they must! Right? Right?

If wealthy crackpots can lavishly fund screwball research projects to look for Noah’s Ark or Big Foot or E. T. or The Man in the Yellow Hat or—dare we dream?—the reincarnation of Elvis, then why not a lavishly funded foundation to prove the existence of little green guys with pointy ears?

It’s a lot better than wasting the money on medical research on orphan diseases or feeding refugees from some hellish war or something frivolous like that.

If I offered people with respectable credentials a Mount-Vesusius-sized pile of money to let their names be attached to my little scheme, I’m sure I would get some takers. No names, but I know of at least one Foundation that hands out cash in the seven-figure range to get  respectable (or at least high-profile people) to say nice things about it.

(Hey, I’m cheap. I’d sell my soul for that much cash! Just leave the money on the dresser, dearie.)

What do you think? I’m sure if I were willing to pay enough, they would come up with all the “evidence” my little heart could desire.

You don’t really think Mr. Spock is an alien, do you?